Why You Shouldn't Walk This Road Alone

When you’re dealing with someone who is about to pass away, you need as many supporting structures as possible. Grief is too heavy to carry alone, and if you try, you’ll quickly discover that you don’t even know which structures will serve you best—or worse, that you didn’t have any in place when you needed them most.

So let’s get clear.

What Are Supporting Structures?

A supporting structure is anything that steadies you while you navigate the hardest season of your life. Think of them as the scaffolding that keeps you upright when grief wants to knock you over.

Supporting structures can be practical, emotional, spiritual, or relational. The point isn’t what they look like—it’s whether they give you the strength and clarity you need to keep showing up.

Practical Supporting Structures

Some examples are obvious: health insurance that gives you access to doctors, psychologists, or medication if you need it. Reliable transportation to get you to your loved one or medical appointments. Financial support to cover rising bills.

Even basics like sunlight, vitamins, and drinking enough water matter. Your body will carry stress for you, so caring for it is a structure in itself.

Emotional & Spiritual Supporting Structures

This is where practices like meditation come in. Meditation helps you regulate your emotions and gives you a way to quiet the constant storm in your mind. And if you struggle with it, that’s okay—just start where you are. Even five mindful breaths are a start. (We’ll be sharing guided meditations here on the site soon to support you in this practice.)

Another key structure: celebrating your wins. It might sound strange in the middle of loss, but your mind will fixate on what’s not working. Counting your wins—even small ones—keeps you anchored to what’s still good, what’s still present, and what’s still worth loving.

Relational Supporting Structures

The people you surround yourself with during this season matter more than you might realize. At one point in my journey, I was surrounded by people who weren’t kind or supportive while my mother was dying. I learned the hard way that loyalty is one of the most important values I can look for in people.

If someone can only show up when life is smooth, but disappears—or worse, adds drama—when things get rough, they aren’t part of your support system. They’re part of the weight you need to put down.

Surround yourself with those who stand with you, even in the turbulence. You don’t need them to carry you. You don’t need them to fix anything. But you do need them to be present, honest, and loyal.

Why Supporting Structures Matter

The truth is, you can’t serve your loved one if you’re not serving yourself. These structures—whether they’re daily practices, loyal people, or professional resources—help you stay balanced so you can show up with compassion, presence, and strength.

So take inventory: What do you have in place? What’s missing? What could you build now, before the hardest days arrive?

A Final Word

One of the greatest lessons I learned while walking through my mother’s final years was this: supporting structures aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines. They kept me grounded, helped me process the unbearable, and allowed me to reach my end result: no unfinished business with her.

So think about it. What supporting structures could you put in your life right now? Because in grief, even the smallest ones go a long way.

If you’d like support in building your own, I invite you to connect. Reach me anytime at stanafisher@gmail.com or on my cell at 818-370-4460.